Out of the Darkness- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention Community Walk

I have not posted in a couple days, which is out of habit for me these days and I have missed it. Today's post is also going to out my usual range of topics- but I just signed up for my first American Foundation for Suicide Prevention walk- Out of the Darkness in Newport, RI September 26th, 2009.

We have lost two first cousins to suicide.

Adam's cousin Beth committed suicide in December of 2000.

My cousin Michael committed suicide in September of 2004.

Losing Beth was life altering. She was a very big part of our lives. We were going to raise our babies together. There are still days where I cannot escape the "what if's" and the "why's". Almost a decade later.

My cousin Michael suffered with his own demons and I cannot imagine his pain that would have led him to believe that suicide was the best option.

Unexpected death, especially of a young person, is so hard and unimaginable. But suicide carries its own set of emotions that don't come with other forms of death. The guilt is huge.

I am going to walk with my aunt in the event appropriately called Out of the Darkness- because that is what suicide is, in the dark. No one wants to talk about. No one wants to know that there is someone attempting suicide once every minute. Or that there are 33,000 lives lost to suicide in the US and over a million world wide every year.

I personally don't talk about it that much either, so I am coming out of the darkness too. I hope the walk is more therapeutic than grief ridden. I hope to raise some awareness. I am not going to actively fund raise for the event, I already do so much with the American Cancer Society, I can't ask anyone for more. I do have a fundraising page at the AFSP event page, found here. If you would like to donate to the cause. You can also visit my aunt's page here.